...get to know you...

"If i could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile,

the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand"

Well i know how much you're not really into songs and all so i guess you won't understand what i posted to you despite how much i want you to understand.I was just hoping to make you smile with every post i written for you and about the other day when i told you whether you want to watch something sweet and i actually send you the link?Yea,its not something freaky but it was actually a music that been edited into a sweet classic love movie which i believe you have watch it and im not those you tube FREAKS!!!...i still have a life other then watching all this aite?i just wanted to cheer you up a little by doing so but i guess you think likewise huh?you're were all tense up at that moment.And the last time when we actually chat,that night,i felt like you're letting me go and i guess somehow you meant it so yes,there wasn't any drastic change from me but remember about me saying that i wanted to take things slow?yes,i guess i want to know you more and i know where i stand because i know who i am?i'm adlan,an average joe and what am i compared to you so yea.Lets just put it this way,i want to get to know you as you want to get to know me (which i hope you do) and that is of course,if you let me.

*it kills me when i feel like you don't care...

...turning 19teen soon...

*im craving for all this...

okay,i'll be turning 19teen like in 5days time and yes,i know how i hate turning old that fast but come on,turning 19teen ain't that bad after all.Despite being a year older than last year,legal to do almost everything?lolz..a lot wiser and mature to deal with the crazy and mean world out there.

Oh well,since its my BIG day so im pretty sure im getting myself some stuff as well..a new shirt,pants and probably a shoe?not sure about the shoes because sigh..im not a shoe person and i don't simply go for shoe shopping xD but having a new outfit which includes a new skinnies jeans and checkered shirt is a must!!a new hairstyle for turning 19teen?i guess im going to pass on that,i'll stick with my mo-hawk...

Well,being a year older soon and at times i wonder how time pass that fast.My memories still fresh about what hapenned yesterday and a couple years ago..I was that little kid running around in primary school to catching people skipping classes in high school and now after all that,adlan still enjoying life with what it have to offer me.I'm grateful for having all my friends since high school and im thankful for all you still sticking around even lots of us have went separate ways but with just a call,you guys and girls definitely be there =)..oh how much i miss you all and lynn,looks like i get to spend my birthday with you this year and anis,you promise me you going to go up there on the stage for my birthday present right?You now what i mean woman so yea..

I want to wish my 2other friends who celebrating their birthday too on the 28th and 30th,Lexandl Gan and Praevin,hope you guys have a good one and i was hoping to spend birthday together but we shall see how everthing go..HAPPY 19TEEN
BRO!!!...

*will i end up like this?gosh,i hate this dude...

...hands down to you,am i just a stranger?...

Aite,its was a very quiet night im having tonight but since when does adlan have a busy or havoc night life?Once upon a time ago kut but i have always been and regarded as the quiet one =)

Well,life been pretty satisfying lately but to adlan,he have his ups and downs too!!!..its life so why shall we bother much about it and just live life to the fullest and happy?haha of course we do,sorry,i feel bored and was waiting for you to be back online but the clock is almost 10p.m. here so im pretty sure you won't be back on...

It's alright,i shall wait then because i was late...im sorry aite?i guess it'll be yet another night going to sleep and not being able to talk to you.I guess i shall wait till another day,another sun to rise to the sky and i hope it will so i get to know how you're doing over there,good?having a bad day?missing home?sigh...how i wish tonight just pass like a breeze of the cold wind and the clock hanging on my wall just tick a few hours faster and i'll get through all this misery...

Oh why oh why?why all of us have to be parted away from each other?you're god knows how many thousand mile away from me and soon,lynn,you're leaving me too...why am i the only one stuck here and being the only one missing people?why oh why?im sitting here feeling all my emptiness and this feeling really killing me.How i wish you could heal me now and get me out of this black hole,will you?

Sometimes i feel like a stranger to this world out there?but somehow i just want to pretend and carrying on living in it.I hope im no stranger to you but maybe we are since its been only a short period of time we've met but the day you left,i never knew it will or might be the final time we'll be seeing each other but i don't hope so.I have no idea when will you be back and if months it will be,i shall be standing right here,silently waiting for you to be back.I never hope to be a stranger to you,i was hearing to this secondhand serenade's Stranger and somehow it lead me to you.Well,you know how much i like to express myself through songs or the meanings of the lyrics right?so there this few line when i heard it makes me to think of you...

Turn Around,
Turn Around and fix your eye in my direction,
So there is a connection,
I can't speak,
I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention,
I'm staring at perfection,
Take a look at me so you can see,
How beautiful you are...


You call me a stranger,
You say I'm a danger,
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight,
I'm broke and abandoned,
You are an angel,
Making all my dreams come true tonight...


I'm confident,
But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you,
I knew you could see right through me,
I saw my life flash right before my very eyes
And I knew just what we'd turn into,
I was hoping that you could see,
Take a look at me so you can see...... *stranger by Secondhand Serenade*


So yea..that's how it would be but i wish i could tell you all this but i guess not huh?hmm..will fate bring us to see each other again?will i ever see the sweet smile of yours that could even stop my heart beats?like the last time you smile at me from where the table you sat in my store and all i could do is just smile to you,sorry aite?i should have walk towards you and talk to you before i don't get any chance.Remember the line from the song Hands Down that i was talking about to you?and that final line about how sweet it was?here it is...

Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair,
That you twirled in your fingers,
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late,
And this walk that we shared together,
The streets were wet and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it and I let you in,
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist,
And you kissed me like you meant it,
And I knew that you meant it,
That you meant it, that you meant it,
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it... *Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional*

*hands down to you girl,end discussion....

...sometimes things just meant not to be huh?...

i have waited for you tonight but you never show up,well,literally not right in front of me but somehow i hope you did.I did counted,it's been 3hours and still in counting as im writing this post for you..

i sat down and laid back for a moment to think about stuff and i somehow i can't imagine how the road right in front of us would be.But that doesn't mean that im afraid to pursue and hoping that we can make this through because the two of us,its like heaven and earth..You're like that person standing on top there,somewhere,free to chase all your wildest dream but im like the person who all the way down right on the dirt and have to work hard to make my dreams come true..

it's like we both been tore between two world?somehow someday you'll mind about this but who am i to judge you.So will you?

Lately,i feel im a lost person.i lost my inspiration to love,i lost my way to freedom and i lost my way to like you even though i want to?i know you told me how much you hate me telling all this and comparing both us but seriously,who is Adlan?i know i'll make you mad by telling you all those things but i hope that you'll let adlan be there to put a sweet smile back on for you, because you know you kills me every time when you smile,it just stopped my heart maybe for a second as well...

I was listening to a song from Baby Face,Every time i Close my Eyes and there this line from the song i would like you to know,its like the song sings the those words that i wanted to say to you..

"Every time i close my eyes i thank the lord that i got you,
and you got me too..
And every time i think of it i wish i was...i don't believe its true,
That someone like you loves me too.."

Well,we haven't reach the 'love' level but sorry,there no song singing 'like' kut since it doesn't rhymes haha i wish i could see you right now and if you're standing right in front me,i wouldn't want you to leave me,ever.i don't want to pretend that i'm glad you went away from me because if you do,i'll be dying inside of me...

..it's that time of year when they all go seperate ways...

aite..i have no idea why im blogging about this but deal with me people,i have been listening to a few break up stories and i have no idea why they find me when they facing this problems but they do sigh..its depressing to listens to all this but when they need someone to listens to their problems,adlan will be there eventually xD..Sometimes i even think that my past relationship was a failure myself..Oh well,im going to tell 3short stories and no worries people,i'll tell the synopsis kay? =)...

Story 1 : Is age is just a number?well,for my friend here it is because she fall in love with this guy who is twice her age!!yes people,I'm not kidding about this..She met this fella some time back then and she fall for him as soon as she see him and I'm surprise that "Love in first sight" still happened in this era huh?well,despite all the advices her friends gave her she just ignore it because many of them think she won't get anything out of this..But at times she just felt that she is the one who is falling in love and don't think this fella is loving her at all xD..But after thinking over it,she doesn't mind and still want to continue with what she is doing now and to me,i felt that is such a pity thing to do when you love someone and don't even think he loves you back sigh...well,love is blind isn't it??all i can do is wish you luck in whatever you're doing..

Story 2 : There is no guarantee that you'll live life together even having years of relationship..This couple,both of them are my friends and the guy always think that his girl neglect him with her busy study schedules and assignments (i guess it's normal in college life) till one fine day he can't take it no more,he ended the 5years relationship he had and surprisingly to me,he hook up with a student exchange from Switzerland because he thinks this new girl knows him better than his ex xD..One thing bugging my mind about couples this day is why do you hook up with a person if you never think that she is the one for you and that consists of that person loves you and knows you well??sigh..its such a pity scenario to think of actually xD..and one day his ex called me up to know why he reacts this way so after explaining everything her she broke to tears (gosh,how i hate girls crying) on the phone and she regrets for what she done and really wants him back so badly but i guess after you loose something,its hard to get it back the way you wanted it...so people,'treasure' is the word.

Story 3 : Do anyone trust in long distance relationship?If to people who don't im sorry to say you all are bullshit-ing xD..Loving a person is also about trusting someone so what is the problem?Oh well,back to the story...it all happened when my this friend got back from aussie for her holidays...When the first time i got to know they were together,i was happy because to me,they were the couple made in heaven and to just simplify things,the guy is willing to go all the way to pick her up and the girl is willing to jump over her house gate to go out with him =)..well,when its time for her to go back to aussie,the both of them was still fine but as time goes by,the guy feeling the loneliness without her by his side so as all humans make mistakes,he have another girl..somehow he thought the aussie girl didn't know about it (actually she knew it all along) and when she ask,he keeps denying till one day he can't deny no more and he told the truth and once a perfect relationship he had just clashed right in front of his eyes and he i know,he never felt so regret in his life losing something till that day...Oh well,humans never feel regret losing something they treasure or love till they loose it and even one of my friend said about him that "His heart belongs to the aussie girl but his body belongs to the malaysian girl" (sorry,i can't mention any names so hope you all still understand the stories aite?)..

Well well,that is the conclusion of my 3 sad love stories and to me,having a relationship or even loving someone is not that hard actually..Once upon a time i did have a relationship that somehow along the road it turn sour and even myself back then and i couldn't let her go till somehow i thought it through,even though its hard to let go someone you love but for the good of both people,letting her go and wish her all the best for her life is the only best options you left actually =)...Love to me is like a "two way traffic",you need both people to love/care/trust each other and i hate about people being with each other just for 'BENEFITS'..What the hell,you're being together for just benefits?im not going to elaborate about the 'benefits' terms and hope you people understand what benefits was i talking about...To me,nothing guarantees you'll be forever with the girl you're in a relationship so i will treasure every moment or every seconds being together with her and not forgetting loving that very person with all your heart,as much as you can possibly give because to me,that's the least i could do and give her...